The big book of Alcoholics anonymous talks about 101 different forms of fear. It invades everything the alcoholic does and drinking is often a symptom of this deeply pervasive angst and feeling of doom and gloom the alcoholic has. I have often heard it called the terrors not just fear and indeed for me that was probably a better description. I was literally terrified if you take away my fix what will replace it. At the start of recovery the idea that one day they will no longer be afraid is very hard to grasp for the Alcoholic. Dictionary.com defines fear as
“a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid”
In this case of the alcoholic the fear is often imagined and real fear that everybody has is mixed up with distressing feelings that something bad will happen all the time. It is only through the work of the gentle loving steps that the alcoholic can get to the root of the fear. The fear itself is but a symptom because underlying it is usually a problem which has not nothing to do with fear and very likely a lot to do with ego. In my own case I was terrified of financial insecurity. Despite not a shred of evidence that I would ever be poor again I was constantly afraid of being broke and financial issues. Through intense work on this issue under the guidance of a sponsor I found that the fear was but a mask for my own need to control everything and fix anything that I thought I had control over. The fear of financial insecurity was the trigger that sent me into fixing and controlling everything which related to money and that was a lot. Work, the bank, the mortgage, the economy etc. etc it went on and on. It was only through recognizing how my character defects and ego were playing out that I was able to ask God to help me change that. The fear has not been completely lifted but it is much better. I work on it daily and ask god to remove my need to control and fix everything. I look forward to the day when I can read the promise “fear of financial insecurity will leave us” and think yes it has!!!
Trudging the road to Happy Destiny!!
