This topic contains 8 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by 
tarheel 1 year, 1 month ago.
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I am constantly being annoyed by family members and I want some honest opinions from people who know what theyre talking about so I can move on from there. Im 22 years old, I have been drinking since my early teens which is no different from anyone else that was in my high school. College didn’t work out for me so I dropped out and started an apprenticeship which Ive just finished. I have always enjoyed drinking and going out, who doesnt right? I started drinking heavily and regularly when I started my apprenticeship as most of the guys around the shop went for a few beers after work every day and I thought it was a good way to get in with the crowd. I dont get drunk every day, I dont even drink every day. Sometimes after work I can have one or two and then go home quite happily. At the weekends I guess I would drink alot when Im out but I mean who doesnt? I get drunk to the point of slurred speech, wobbly knees etc sometimes just like most the people in the club do at some stage, but I dont get that drunk every night I am out. Ive been in fights and arrested a couple of times for causing public disturbances after the bars close and I know that on paper this doesnt sound good but seriously name an average guy who hasnt gotten into a brawl or two in their lifetime? I was just seen by cops. And you know when drink is on board you are more likely to get annoyed because inhibitions are lowered and all that. Because of the arrests my family (particularly my Mom) and friends are warning me all the time that Ive either got a problem or Im developing one. I read the piece on here about the symtoms of alcaholism. Theres a bit about thinking of when your next drink will be, I do plan ahead for nights out and maybe on lunch some days a drink after work might be brought up but I seriously think this is what all people do no? I mean if you dont makes plans how would you know where to be? Im a smart guy, I know this might all sound like denial to some people but from an objective point of view from someone with experience, does it sound like I have a problem because I cant take the constant badgering anymore… and you know that saying “if you hear something often enough you start to believe it.”
Hi Ryan, in that post it also states that even questioning if you have a problem can be a warning sign also so maybe it wouldn’t help to speak to a professional and get their oppinion. You’re right it does sound like youre in denial sometimes but I know what you mean, I know that people who drink but are not alcaholics can sometimes get drunk to the wobbly knee point and wake up the next day and think oh man I was wasted last night but I dont think the average person gets arrested on more then one occasion for an alcahol related incident, that might a step too far. Youre doing teh right thing to ask others so it cant do any harm to ask a professional.
It‘s good to look into things, fact is you may or may not have a problem but it wont do any harm to look into it more even for your own piece of mind. You can learn a lot yourself from doing exactly what youre doing, online research etc. But if there is a problem there that’s when professional help is necessary because you wont always be able to see where you‘re going wrong because in so many ways you are biased based on your own need to “be OK”.
How confused you must be! Do any of your family and friends have a drinking problem? My Dad does and I guess for someone like me there are things you notice about the person that they wouldnt notice about themselves that make it easier to tell. It could be something tiny, like with my Dad at family functions I would watch him all evening and then there would be this change in the way he looked at people, something in his eyes that would make me think oh no its about to go off and I was never wrong. That look is something that I never confused, you could be talking to him one second and the next you would get this look and you knew in his head something worng had been said or that hed remembered something that he thought was wrong and it was time to abondon ship as soon as I saw it. I guess in a more general sense, maybe try to think about changes in your personality when you are under the influence of alcahol that are out of the norm for you, like hyper sensitivity, getting frustrated/annoyed easily etc.
Adam it’s so weird but what you just said about your dad and his eyes, that is the exact same thing for me with my Mom. With my Mom sometimes there was no way of telling when things were about to get crazy and alot of the time she would lose it completely unprovoked. But when my Mom’s eyes got red underneath I knew she had bee drinking and just like you said, there would be a way she would look in response to something that had been said or done (and it could be something completely innocent but obviously something clicked in her head that it was bad) and once that look was there she would always lose it. It’s so weird it’s like a total flip in personality it would literally floor me every time. I would think Jesus she is totally insane I hate her, you know the usual. I will never forget one day after coming home from school I walked in and she was really hungover and I asked her if there would be anything for lunch the next day (because there hadnt been that morning, and I made my own lunch and my younger siblings she was rarely available for that) and she turned to me with that look in her eye like I had asked her something horrific and I just ran because I knew I was about to get in so much trouble and I remember lying on my bed crying and thinking why the hell did she just get mad, she’s my Mom all I asked was would there lunch for me tomorrow and she got mad how can she react like that? I understand moreso now that I am going to Alanon. But like you said it’s just really interestin when you hear someone speak that has the exact same feelings as you did, when at the time you felt so alone!
I dunno it’s just hard for me to see myself as having “a problem”. I’m taking in everything everyone is saying to me and I’m thinking I might speak to my doctor about it maybe just incase. I know though a doctor will say I’m binge drinking and that drives me crazy, like more then 2 beers is binging for a guy? Come on seriously? I dunno. I think I will just go and see, see what he recommends just to put my mind at ease a bit. I suppose I am kind of worried if Im thinking about it so much.
Yeah that sounds pretty familiar, I was in denial for a long time about my alcoholism but then one day it just dawned on me.. After night after night of waking up with no memories and a sore head, sometimes in strangers houses I finally said enough is enough, I need to stop lying to myself I have a problem.
Firebreathers right. You need to really sit down and ask yourself the question,” am I addicted”? If the answer is no,compare yourself to other people to make sure, if it’s yes then you should go get some help.
I like what believe had to say, as it was one of my first steps to acceptance. If you start asking “am I addicted”, there is a chance you are. No one is going to be able to make that determination for you, but if you think you might be, and you have friends suggesting regularly, then take a hard look at yourself.
If your still not sure, cut out the drinking for a extended period of time, a few weeks or a month, and see what happens. Do you find yourself extra irritable or angry. Do you think about drinking a lot during that time. Those are big signs also.
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